I always wondered how people in the medical profession decide to specialize in Proctology. After today, I don't care how and why they are in this profession, I'm just grateful.
I have never had hemorrhoids before, but I recall that in the midst of my infertile bitterness, I wished a bad case of them to happen on the insensitive fertiles. Turns out that karma is a bitch. Last night I went to the ER for the most intense pain of my life and saw, felt, first hand what its like to have your insides on your outsides in one of the most worst places ever. At 10PM, the hubby called my OB who told us not to go to emergency room, take tylenol and ice the area, and he would arrange a visit to the proctologist first thing in the morning. From 10PM to 4AM, I cried like a baby with the most intense pain every. Finally at 4AM, hubby couldn't take it anymore, and took me to ER. The ER doctor and nurse inspected the problem, and told me they would not operate on a pregnant person, but that my case looked BAD. I literally felt like someone had a fist in my anus, and that I had been sodomized prison style for 15 hours straight. They gave me morphine, which I feel makes me the worst mom ever and my son hasn't even been born yet.
At 11 AM, it was arranged for me to go to the Ass doctor. I don't know what I expected as I can't imagine what normal person to choose this field of medicine. Wouldn't ya know it that Ass Man was totally hot in a Brad Pitt sort of way, and probably late 30's. Luckily by this point, I just did not care. I had outpatient surgery, took the pain meds, and will have lots of sitz baths in my future. I will also have the pleasure of sitting on a donut shaped pillow at my baby shower on Saturday in front of twenty people while I open gifts. If I wasn't in so much pain, I would find this hilarious. Even in my current state, it is somewhat funny. The hubby has taken care of me like the saint that he is. However, he cannot help himself and has a list of ass jokes that can go on for days. He made me laugh in spite of my pathetic state.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Update
How far along: 33 weeks
How much weight gained total: 14 pounds
How I'm feeling mentally: Excited! I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas times five hundred thousand. Cannot wait to see his face and touch him. Hubby is ecstatic beyond belief.
Nursery: Dr. Seuss theme. Have crib, mattress, bedding, glider, dresser/changing table and armoire. I'll put up photos after the shower and once I'm more organized.
Baby shower: Work lunch shower 11/13, Friend and Family shower 11/7. Yeah!!!
How I'm feeling physically: Big, constantly hot, and out of breath even from standing!
Due date: November 30th, planned C-Section
Last day of work: Probably November 20th
How much weight gained total: 14 pounds
How I'm feeling mentally: Excited! I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas times five hundred thousand. Cannot wait to see his face and touch him. Hubby is ecstatic beyond belief.
Nursery: Dr. Seuss theme. Have crib, mattress, bedding, glider, dresser/changing table and armoire. I'll put up photos after the shower and once I'm more organized.
Baby shower: Work lunch shower 11/13, Friend and Family shower 11/7. Yeah!!!
How I'm feeling physically: Big, constantly hot, and out of breath even from standing!
Due date: November 30th, planned C-Section
Last day of work: Probably November 20th
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sorry for long delay
Based on just my 20 week ultra sound, before bloodwork, my risk ratio's were:
1/237 for Trisomy 21
1/1915 for Down Syndrome
After my bloodwork came back
1/100,000 for Trisomy 21
and 1/x,000 for Down Syndrome. Yes, that is really an x as the results are illegible and nobody else can seem to get a clean copy.
Anyway, whether its 1/1000 or 1/9000, its good enough for me. The doctor told me the risk to the fetus with an amnio is 1/200. However, I have read different things about that number and it appears that the medical professionals cannot even agree about that.
I am very glad I did not accept the peri's advice to get an amnio. I was surprised at my book club, when the ladies were shocked I declined the amnio, as they all had them. I still feel strongly that I made the right decision for me.
The peri wants to see me again on Sept. 11th. My OB said, it wasn't really necessary for me to go. The peri is just trying to be diligent and will look at baby, take measurements, etc. No bloodwork or testing will be done as I "passed" both the first and second trimester screenings. At first, I thought of course I would go as it is a free looksie at Baby Boy which I hate to pass up. But on the other hand, these appointments scare the living shit out of me. I don't know if the pros outweigh the cons, as there isn't much in utero they can do for my baby IF there is a problem. The OB also gave me a referral for a different peri if I want to do that instead because I hated the peri he sent me to. I dunno, I keep going back and forth. Am I crazy for just wanting to be ignorant and trying to minimize my worrying? I think I'm done with these screening testings which don't really seem to diagnose anything other than to make you crazy with worry.
I also found out I failed my one hour glucose and have to go back next week for the three hour.
On a happier front, I can feel baby moving around like crazy. It is amazing and I'm finally starting to understand how women do miss being pregnant after the baby is born. I just cannot wait to see his cute little face and to touch him. 25 weeks down, and 14 to go. I'm still waiting for someone to pinch me.
1/237 for Trisomy 21
1/1915 for Down Syndrome
After my bloodwork came back
1/100,000 for Trisomy 21
and 1/x,000 for Down Syndrome. Yes, that is really an x as the results are illegible and nobody else can seem to get a clean copy.
Anyway, whether its 1/1000 or 1/9000, its good enough for me. The doctor told me the risk to the fetus with an amnio is 1/200. However, I have read different things about that number and it appears that the medical professionals cannot even agree about that.
I am very glad I did not accept the peri's advice to get an amnio. I was surprised at my book club, when the ladies were shocked I declined the amnio, as they all had them. I still feel strongly that I made the right decision for me.
The peri wants to see me again on Sept. 11th. My OB said, it wasn't really necessary for me to go. The peri is just trying to be diligent and will look at baby, take measurements, etc. No bloodwork or testing will be done as I "passed" both the first and second trimester screenings. At first, I thought of course I would go as it is a free looksie at Baby Boy which I hate to pass up. But on the other hand, these appointments scare the living shit out of me. I don't know if the pros outweigh the cons, as there isn't much in utero they can do for my baby IF there is a problem. The OB also gave me a referral for a different peri if I want to do that instead because I hated the peri he sent me to. I dunno, I keep going back and forth. Am I crazy for just wanting to be ignorant and trying to minimize my worrying? I think I'm done with these screening testings which don't really seem to diagnose anything other than to make you crazy with worry.
I also found out I failed my one hour glucose and have to go back next week for the three hour.
On a happier front, I can feel baby moving around like crazy. It is amazing and I'm finally starting to understand how women do miss being pregnant after the baby is born. I just cannot wait to see his cute little face and to touch him. 25 weeks down, and 14 to go. I'm still waiting for someone to pinch me.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
still waiting.....
We went to our OB appointment. Our OB told us to wait for the bloodwork for the 2nd trimester screening before making any decisions about anything. He felt the cyst itself did not warrant an amnio. Interesting that the specialist he sent me to and my OB have differing opinions. I also gave him an earful about my unpleasant experience. He told me I did not have to go back to that place, or that he would refer me to someone else for a second opinion. I decided not to pursue a second opinion at this point. The controversy isn't whether or not the cyst is there, the controversy is how the cysts' significance is explained to me. I've done a pretty good job of trying not to worry. A lot of my research including my discussion with my OB has reassured me that an isolated marker is really not conclusive of much.
Instead we are focusing on our baby BOY!! We had to mentally switch gears a bit, but now we are very happy. In hindsight, I wish I would have waited until I was further along to request the gender. Its strange when you expect one thing, and get something else. We are ecstatic about a boy, but we are a little sorry there will not be a baby girl, too. Maybe someday.
I ordered the nursery bedding from potter barn kids, Dr. Seuss. The hubby is going to do some paintings for the room, and I'm going to buy a few accessories. I'm not crazy about all the match-y match-y theme rooms that are really busy. Our theme will be more subtle. I will def. post the before and after photos.
Baby Boy is moving all around and getting bigger. I can definitely feel kicks and punches daily that are getting stronger and stronger. The tummy is looking more round, and my waist is now completely gone. I'm getting bigger on the sides, if that makes sense and more round and less pointy. I love love love feeling him. So far, its the best thing about being pregnant.
The bloodwork should be back any day now, and hopefully it will be good news. No matter what, I really don't think I could terminate a pregnancy at this stage no matter what shape the baby is in. I'm falling more in love each day.
Instead we are focusing on our baby BOY!! We had to mentally switch gears a bit, but now we are very happy. In hindsight, I wish I would have waited until I was further along to request the gender. Its strange when you expect one thing, and get something else. We are ecstatic about a boy, but we are a little sorry there will not be a baby girl, too. Maybe someday.
I ordered the nursery bedding from potter barn kids, Dr. Seuss. The hubby is going to do some paintings for the room, and I'm going to buy a few accessories. I'm not crazy about all the match-y match-y theme rooms that are really busy. Our theme will be more subtle. I will def. post the before and after photos.
Baby Boy is moving all around and getting bigger. I can definitely feel kicks and punches daily that are getting stronger and stronger. The tummy is looking more round, and my waist is now completely gone. I'm getting bigger on the sides, if that makes sense and more round and less pointy. I love love love feeling him. So far, its the best thing about being pregnant.
The bloodwork should be back any day now, and hopefully it will be good news. No matter what, I really don't think I could terminate a pregnancy at this stage no matter what shape the baby is in. I'm falling more in love each day.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Just when things were starting to get boring....
Friday we went to the Perinatologist for our second trimester ultra sound.
We were 5 mins early to our 8:30AM appt. and still waited an hour. Before we get started, tech tries to get me to sign some form saying I'm declining an amnio.
Me: Um, can't we hold off on that? I'd like to see what todays results are.
Tech: Okay. But you need to sign this form today.
Tech starts doing the measurements.
Bitch tech lady: You are having a boy.
Me: Ohmigod. Wow, we were told it was a girl.
Look at hubby. His face is expressionless. He has been referring to baby as his beautiful Princess.
Me: Well, boy or girl is fabulous. We just want a healthy baby.
Bitch tech: You might want to reconsider that amnio, there is a cyst on his brain. The doctor will tell you more about it when he comes in?
Me: Wait a sec. Whaaat? What does that mean?
Bitch tech: I told you the doctor will tell you more about it when he gets in.
I start crying. She seems to be going in slow motion. She is keeping her tone very friendly, but also very condescending. She finishes. Puts that god damn form in front of my face again.
Bitch tech: Please sign this, saying you are declining the amnio.
Me: Wait, can I please talk to the Doctor first?
Bitch tech: huge sigh.
Wait 25 more minutes. Dr. comes in.
Dr: Your baby has a choroid plexus cyst on his brain. This is an indicator of a chromosomal abnormality for Down Syndrome and Trisomy SomethingorOther. I recommend an amnio. If you decline an amnio, please sign this form. An amnio has a one in two hundred chance of a miscarriage whether or not the baby is healthy.
The hubby (god bless him, as I am too terrified to think): What are the odds that baby has something wrong with it, based on this cyst?
Dr: These cysts occur in 1-2% of all pregnancies.
Me: Well, of these 1-2% of all pregnancies, how many actually have the abnormality.
Dr: Sighs. I will repeat myself. 1-2%. (I don't think this was the answer to what I asked)
The hubby: Would you recommend the amnio if this was your wife?
Dr: Yes. I can do it right now. If you decline the amnio, please sign the form.
AGAIN WITH THAT FORM!!!!!!
Me: Can we have a few minutes to talk about it?
Dr: No, other patients are waiting. If you want more time, please call me and we can reschedule the appointment. Or we can do it right now, and it will be faster.
Me: I guess we will decline, at least until my bloodwork results come back. Plus, I want to talk to my OB before making any decisions.
Dr: Fine. Please sign the form declining the amnio. Oh and please don't look this up on the internet.
Me: okay, please let me read the form first.
I signed the form. In hindsight, I wish I would have just left that fucking form blank and walked out.
The hubby and I have spent the last 36 hours researching everything about an isolated Choroid Plexus Cyst. We cannot find one instance where this cysts all by itself has resulted in an unhealthy baby. Everything I've read is quite the contrary.
We have an appointment with OB on Monday at 9:15AM. We are going to hold off making any decisions until we talk to OB and get our bloodwork back.
Maybe some people would have gone ahead with the amnio, right then and there. All I could think about was, you have no idea the blood, sweat, and tears that went into conceiving this child. Maybe if I was 20 years old and conceived in my first month, I might be more inclined to take that kind of risk. Can you imagine having a healthy baby, getting an amnio, and having the baby die? All for what? No matter what the amnio results are, there is no cure. Risk the life of my baby, just to ease my mind? No thanks.
We were 5 mins early to our 8:30AM appt. and still waited an hour. Before we get started, tech tries to get me to sign some form saying I'm declining an amnio.
Me: Um, can't we hold off on that? I'd like to see what todays results are.
Tech: Okay. But you need to sign this form today.
Tech starts doing the measurements.
Bitch tech lady: You are having a boy.
Me: Ohmigod. Wow, we were told it was a girl.
Look at hubby. His face is expressionless. He has been referring to baby as his beautiful Princess.
Me: Well, boy or girl is fabulous. We just want a healthy baby.
Bitch tech: You might want to reconsider that amnio, there is a cyst on his brain. The doctor will tell you more about it when he comes in?
Me: Wait a sec. Whaaat? What does that mean?
Bitch tech: I told you the doctor will tell you more about it when he gets in.
I start crying. She seems to be going in slow motion. She is keeping her tone very friendly, but also very condescending. She finishes. Puts that god damn form in front of my face again.
Bitch tech: Please sign this, saying you are declining the amnio.
Me: Wait, can I please talk to the Doctor first?
Bitch tech: huge sigh.
Wait 25 more minutes. Dr. comes in.
Dr: Your baby has a choroid plexus cyst on his brain. This is an indicator of a chromosomal abnormality for Down Syndrome and Trisomy SomethingorOther. I recommend an amnio. If you decline an amnio, please sign this form. An amnio has a one in two hundred chance of a miscarriage whether or not the baby is healthy.
The hubby (god bless him, as I am too terrified to think): What are the odds that baby has something wrong with it, based on this cyst?
Dr: These cysts occur in 1-2% of all pregnancies.
Me: Well, of these 1-2% of all pregnancies, how many actually have the abnormality.
Dr: Sighs. I will repeat myself. 1-2%. (I don't think this was the answer to what I asked)
The hubby: Would you recommend the amnio if this was your wife?
Dr: Yes. I can do it right now. If you decline the amnio, please sign the form.
AGAIN WITH THAT FORM!!!!!!
Me: Can we have a few minutes to talk about it?
Dr: No, other patients are waiting. If you want more time, please call me and we can reschedule the appointment. Or we can do it right now, and it will be faster.
Me: I guess we will decline, at least until my bloodwork results come back. Plus, I want to talk to my OB before making any decisions.
Dr: Fine. Please sign the form declining the amnio. Oh and please don't look this up on the internet.
Me: okay, please let me read the form first.
I signed the form. In hindsight, I wish I would have just left that fucking form blank and walked out.
The hubby and I have spent the last 36 hours researching everything about an isolated Choroid Plexus Cyst. We cannot find one instance where this cysts all by itself has resulted in an unhealthy baby. Everything I've read is quite the contrary.
We have an appointment with OB on Monday at 9:15AM. We are going to hold off making any decisions until we talk to OB and get our bloodwork back.
Maybe some people would have gone ahead with the amnio, right then and there. All I could think about was, you have no idea the blood, sweat, and tears that went into conceiving this child. Maybe if I was 20 years old and conceived in my first month, I might be more inclined to take that kind of risk. Can you imagine having a healthy baby, getting an amnio, and having the baby die? All for what? No matter what the amnio results are, there is no cure. Risk the life of my baby, just to ease my mind? No thanks.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Blog Block
I'm having a hard time coming up with blog topics lately, which you might have noticed. Compared to TTC, there just isn't that much to talk about. I'm ecstatic I'm pregnant. The end. I guess I'm a better blogger when I have something to complain about. Sooo.......here is the baby update and a book review.
How far along: 18.5 weeks
Total weight gained: 5 pounds
Food cravings: Protein and Carbs. When I'm hungry, STAND BACK
Next ultrasound: Thursday the 16th at 8:45 AM
Gender: Hope to get confirmation at Ultra Sound. Told 70% chance girl, hope to get confirmation one way or another.
Nursery: If its a girl, I'm leaning toward a bird theme. Pottery Barn Kids "Penelope Bedding". Boy - no idea. Maybe fire trucks and Dalmations?
Movement: Starting to get flutters. They only last a couple seconds so by the time I get all excited I'm having one, they stop.
Trying to stay in shape: Going to try aqua aerobics at the YMCA. I will be the only person there under 50 and I bet I will get my ass handed to me. I will update how it goes.
Biggest fear: Obviously you know what this is.
Miscellaneous: I am earning a PhD in napping. If I'm not actually napping, I'm contemplating the timing and location of my next nap.
Baby name: We have a girl name picked out. I told my sister what it was and she made a terrible face like she smelled something rotten. The hubby and I will probably announce as it gets closer or after the baby is born. I'm still going with it, no matter what people say but I wish people would just lie to me and say they like it even if they don't. My mom is not wild about it either but is trying to be polite about it. Whatever.
Book review:
I read a ton. At least a book a week. Mostly women's fiction Oprah type books. I just finished The Help. One of my favorite books I've read this year.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399155341/ref=s9_simz_gw_s0_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0MAVFC4AB90XASFRNNXV&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
It is set in Jackson, Mississippi right before the Civil Rights Movement. Its 400 pages long and I read it in 3 days. I miss the characters already. The book is about courageous African American women who share glances of their lives as being maids to white women. They share their stories to an aspiring young white author. Needless to say, these ladies have A LOT to loose just by sharing their stories. I was inspired. I cried. I laughed. I miss the book and am sad I finished it. Five stars.
I also read a flop. Peony in Love by Lisa See. I loved Lisa See's Snowflower and Secret Fan book. This was one for my book club, and I thought I'd like it too. The book had too many supernatural elements for me to enjoy. I was bored to tears. Two stars.
I am currently reading Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum, but I'm only on first chapter.
http://www.amazon.com/Those-Who-Save-Jenna-Blum/dp/0156031663/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247443665&sr=1-1
How far along: 18.5 weeks
Total weight gained: 5 pounds
Food cravings: Protein and Carbs. When I'm hungry, STAND BACK
Next ultrasound: Thursday the 16th at 8:45 AM
Gender: Hope to get confirmation at Ultra Sound. Told 70% chance girl, hope to get confirmation one way or another.
Nursery: If its a girl, I'm leaning toward a bird theme. Pottery Barn Kids "Penelope Bedding". Boy - no idea. Maybe fire trucks and Dalmations?
Movement: Starting to get flutters. They only last a couple seconds so by the time I get all excited I'm having one, they stop.
Trying to stay in shape: Going to try aqua aerobics at the YMCA. I will be the only person there under 50 and I bet I will get my ass handed to me. I will update how it goes.
Biggest fear: Obviously you know what this is.
Miscellaneous: I am earning a PhD in napping. If I'm not actually napping, I'm contemplating the timing and location of my next nap.
Baby name: We have a girl name picked out. I told my sister what it was and she made a terrible face like she smelled something rotten. The hubby and I will probably announce as it gets closer or after the baby is born. I'm still going with it, no matter what people say but I wish people would just lie to me and say they like it even if they don't. My mom is not wild about it either but is trying to be polite about it. Whatever.
Book review:
I read a ton. At least a book a week. Mostly women's fiction Oprah type books. I just finished The Help. One of my favorite books I've read this year.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399155341/ref=s9_simz_gw_s0_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0MAVFC4AB90XASFRNNXV&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
It is set in Jackson, Mississippi right before the Civil Rights Movement. Its 400 pages long and I read it in 3 days. I miss the characters already. The book is about courageous African American women who share glances of their lives as being maids to white women. They share their stories to an aspiring young white author. Needless to say, these ladies have A LOT to loose just by sharing their stories. I was inspired. I cried. I laughed. I miss the book and am sad I finished it. Five stars.
I also read a flop. Peony in Love by Lisa See. I loved Lisa See's Snowflower and Secret Fan book. This was one for my book club, and I thought I'd like it too. The book had too many supernatural elements for me to enjoy. I was bored to tears. Two stars.
I am currently reading Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum, but I'm only on first chapter.
http://www.amazon.com/Those-Who-Save-Jenna-Blum/dp/0156031663/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247443665&sr=1-1
Monday, July 6, 2009
Facebook friends you don't really know......
Me: Hey, do you know a guy named "J___ W_____"?
My brother: Yeah, why?
Me: He tried adding me a few times on facebook and says he knows you and has hung out with me several time, so I finally added him as a friend.
My brother: Really? Are you sure its "J___ W____"?
Me: positive. He's a born again Christian I think because he has all these religious status updates and stuff. He seems really nice, I just couldn't really place him, although I thought he looked familiar. He told me to tell you hello and you should really get on facebook.
My brother: You should delete him ASAP.
Me: Why?
My brother: He was my coke dealer.
Me: oh.
Note to self: Don't add people just because they know someone in my family.
My brother: Yeah, why?
Me: He tried adding me a few times on facebook and says he knows you and has hung out with me several time, so I finally added him as a friend.
My brother: Really? Are you sure its "J___ W____"?
Me: positive. He's a born again Christian I think because he has all these religious status updates and stuff. He seems really nice, I just couldn't really place him, although I thought he looked familiar. He told me to tell you hello and you should really get on facebook.
My brother: You should delete him ASAP.
Me: Why?
My brother: He was my coke dealer.
Me: oh.
Note to self: Don't add people just because they know someone in my family.
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